The Creative Farm Girl Earns Her Name (Finally)

September 17, 2020

 Almost a year ago, I became the proud owner of two rescue goats. Their owner was a wonderful lady who loved them desperately, but just couldn’t give them the time and attention she wanted to. Five months later, I found two more goats that needed homes—babies, this time.

So I guess I’ve officially earned my title “The Creative FARM Girl.”

As I’ve moved from Non-Goat Person to a Fond-of-Goats Person (I’m hoping to not move into Crazy Goat Lady status, but I’ll let you know), I have learned a few things along the way that Non-Goat People often ask me.

1. Are you going to get milk from them?

Dairy goats are not born to be dairy goats. A goat must actually carry a baby and give birth to have a milk supply—like people. I was a bit disappointed to discover this, as I’ve always wanted to make goat cheese. But now that I have to find a hook-up for my one female goat and potentially become a goat doula to deliver the baby kids, well, I will remain content with my little supply of goat cheese from Trader Joe’s.

2. Do you do goat yoga with them?

No. I have Nigerian Dwarfs, which are not that dwarfish. I mean, they are small compared to a mountain goat, but they aren’t exactly the size of the pigmy goat—which make up 90% of the cute goat yoga classes and videos everyone sends me. And yes, my goal is to one day have a pair of pigmy goats, thus potentially sending me to Crazy Goat Lady status. But I will not ever do goat yoga with them. It’s just too weird.

3. Can I buy one goat and see how it works out?

Never buy a single goat (thus, the pair noted above). Goats are companion animals, and unless you want to welcome it into your house as YOUR companion--which I highly don’t recommend--please always buy your goats in pairs or even trios, if you are brave.

4. Do your goats eat everything?

Goats are pickier eaters than you might think. While Atticus (my oldest male goat) has been known to eat books and plastic bags, he snubs most green vegetables, as well as apples, bananas, and bean sprouts. (Dear Husband loves trying new foods on him.)

5. Are goats hard to take care of?

While goats are extremely low maintenance to care for, they must have their hooves clipped regularly. And they don’t like it (which is not apparent by the “hooves clipping” You tube videos where the goats stand passively, allowing their owners to clip away and talk AND shoot decent video). All I can say is the first time I tried to clip their hooves, I was reminded of potty training my almost-three-year old Big Boy. He ran through the house naked for about four hours, peeing on everything he could, before I waved the white flag—or in this case, white diaper—in utter surrender.

Along with the questions above, the one biggest question I get is:

Why do you want goats?

My first and most honest answer has been, “Because I think it would be fun.”

And it IS fun.

And believe me, I understand if you don’t think having goats would be fun, but I implore you to find something for yourself that you do because it’s fun. And for no other reason.

Find something that doesn’t just make you happy, but makes you heart-happy. And then, spread that happy around, because Heaven knows we could all use a little more fun and happy and goats to make the world a little better right now.

(Cue the goats and their baaahhhh-ing or maaahhhing or whatever that sound is.)